Battle of the Sexes: Pizza reviews

Helena Nitschky PIZZA John Rettig

BEST OVERALL Pizza Sams has been in Midland since 1800. It is a Midland classic and by far the best pizza in our town. Being locally owned has contributed to its authenticity and I have never had any pizza that compares to it; not even heading to Chicago to try deep dish pizza with my brother who lives there. No other pizza has cheese that can actually stretch so long  that you have to use your fingers to pull pieces apart, shoving the excess cheese in your mouth like an appetizer. With the perfect combination of crispy crust, the perfect amount of toppings, and handmade love, Pizza Sam’s pizza destroys all other places.


BEST MEDIOCRE PIZZA When you walk into Pizza Sam’s, the first thing you notice is the large dining room and loud atmosphere. You either wait for a waitress or order at the counter. The service and atmosphere is sub par, but the pizza exceeds expectation. The pizza has the best quality topping in Midland, yet the flavorless, dry crust ruins most of it for me. The items on the menu are somewhat pricey, but if the service and atmosphere was improved, I would give this place the overall best ranking. The atmosphere you are eating in, for me, is a large part of the whole pizza-consuming experience.


BEST VARIETY Pizza Hut has the largest number of options to customize a pizza. For example, at Pizza Hut there are 6 different styles of crust to choose from: original pan, hand tossed, thin n’ crispy, original stuffed, skinny it up, and grilled cheese stuffed crust. The first time I went there, when the waitress asked me, “What kind of crust?” and I replied “Normal” and she went on to name the plethora of options I had to choose from, my indecisive nature took over. The options are endless at Pizza Hut which make it a favorite for many, but for someone who has trouble making decisions on the spot it can be a very tough experience. To say the least, I don’t go to Pizza Hut often, mainly because it stresses me out and I would like to be able to order a pepperoni pizza without having to decide what what crust type and also what crust flavor I want (there are five flavors). Overall, Pizza Hut has the best variety but also is the best place to stress yourself out if you really like doing that.

Pizza Hut  

BEST PRICE You may be thinking, “Pizza Hut for best price?”. Yes, and there’s many reasons why. At Pizza hut you can order any large, pan pizza for $10. Not too bad, but what’s even better is free service! Pizza Hut is a dine-in/takeout restaurant so if you choose to dine-in then you have a waitress who gives you free refills and whatever else you need at no extra cost. For a full-service sit-down experience, Pizza Hut provides the best value for $10.


BEST MEDIOCRE PIZZA I don’t know what it is about Cottage Inn, but I never seem to remember about this place. It might be the location of it, being tucked in by Tropical Smoothie, but I just never think about it to get pizza from and can honestly say that the only time I’ve ever gotten it was to eat it for this article. It was decent enough, but it really didn’t blow me out of the water at all or compare to pizza from places like Pizza Sams. The overall mediocre quality of Cottage Inn’s pizza will force my brain to continue to disregard its existence in the plaza next to Tropical Smoothie.


BEST VARIETY I’ll always be excited for a Cottage Inn Pizza. They serve a very wide variety of different pizzas, from small round pan-pizzas to 32 piece party platters. Whatever combination of toppings you are in the mood for, with a 33 item pre-selected pizza menu, they have you covered. In taste, I give Cottage Inn’s “gourmet” pizzas an 8/10. My personal favorite combination is the Chicken Alfredo pan pizza. I’ve never had a bad combination or any flaws from the pizzas I have ordered from there. So if you’re looking for something new or a twist on a pizza you already have in mind stop by Cottage Inn.


BEST VARIETY I am a firm believer that all pizza is good for leftovers. However, there is something about the thick crust from Jets that makes it better to eat straight out of the fridge when you wake up in the morning (don’t tell me you haven’t eaten pizza for breakfast). Jet’s pizza is unique in the way of how thick the crust is and this is one of the main things that makes it so good, especially for leftovers.


BEST OVERALL This is a no brainer. Jet’s pizza has all the best qualities of a perfect pizza place. Their pizza has a very unique and defined taste with it’s strongly flavored tomato sauce. The toppings they use are top quality and are in perfect tandem with the gooey cheese. They offer a circular pan pizza, and a square-cornered deep dish pizza. The crust on the deep dish pizza is crunchy and you can enjoy every last bite of the cheese that is baked overtop of the edge. I will pick a pepperoni deep dish pizza from Jet’s over any pizza not only in Midland, but anywhere else.


BEST ON-THE-GO Most people hate Speedway pizza, but honestly it is one of my favorites. For one of my birthday parties in middle school  I actually made my mom order two Speedway pizzas for me and my fellow guests, however, not many people ate it besides me. I know it sounds gross, gas station pizza, but it’s really just like eating a frozen pizza from home, and on the run before lacrosse practice or for lunch, Speedway pizza is by far the best pizza to get on the go. It’s always hot, and although may have been left out a little too long, you can always get the workers to throw another pizza in the oven that only takes around 10 minutes to cook!


WORST PIZZA 3 words say it all: Gas. Station. Pizza. I don’t like to associate food in any way with the fuel for my truck. With all the other options in town, with price and quality very close by, why would you buy pizza from Speedway? It is frozen and slapped in the microwave by the attending worker for a few minutes and then left all day in a rotating glass box with a heat lamp. If that makes your mouth water, it’s all yours. People told me to give it a try and I did. I was surprised, it was worse than I expected! Gas stations are meant for two things. Gasoline and Slurpees. Let’s keep it that way.


BEST CRUST To me, Hungry Howies tastes a lot like Domino’s, and I am not really a fan. However, the crust from Hungry Howies is pretty dang good. One time I was with someone when they ordered a Hungry Howies pizza, and I really could not hide my utter disappointment, but then when asked what type of crust they wanted, they replied, “Ranch”. Now, who doesn’t like ranch on their pizza? I was fully intrigued. When we got the pizza, the only thing that I ended up eating was the ring of pizza around the crust and it was pretty good. I probably wouldn’t order a pizza from here just for the crust, but if it’s given to me, you can guarantee the crust will be gone when I’m done with it.


BEST CRUST At Hungry Howie’s, they are known for the highly customizable pizzas. What Hungry Howie’s does better than anyone else is crust. They have 10 different types of crusts you can order, ranging from a light dusting of cajun flavoring to complete coating of sesame seeds. You can order as many different crust topping as you want all in different quantities. My favorite part about the pizza from Hungry Howie’s is the crust and leftovers because you can eat the crust like breadsticks and they last a long time, as long as you put them in the fridge.


BEST PRICE No one can pass up a $5 Hot-and-Ready. Little Caesars is easy to stop in really quick to grab multiple pizzas for a cheap price. When a girl like me who is balling on a budget and has to bring food to production for the Update, and we’re talking enough food for football players like Justin Sanderson in yearbook (he eats probably like 7 slices), Little Caesars is the cheapest pizza for the average teen’s wallet. Also, who doesn’t love crazy breadsticks?

 Little Cesars  


Everybody’s familiar with Little Caesars Hot ‘n’ Ready deal, and especially with the students at DHS, the $5 lunch combo. The lunch combo includes 4 slices of deep dish pepperoni pizza and a drink. At Little Caesars, they are quick, consistent, and cheap. You can walk in with $5 dollars, in your hand, and walk out 30 seconds later with a satisfying lunch that won’t put a dent in your wallet. When bodybuilders and athletes go through the bulking phase of their diet, Hot ‘n’ Ready’s are the perfect source for their low-budget diet that can provide lots of filling flavor and calories, if that’s what you’re looking for. Little Caesars is the only place in Midland where they pre-make the pizzas, without even calling, making it the speediest pizza place in town.


WORST PIZZA Domino’s is by far the worst pizza I have ever eaten in my life, and I have eaten a lot of pizza. Although it’s unfortunate that Domino’s pizza is almost always ordered for school things and other group projects because of their easy, quick delivery. I don’t know what it is about it, but Domino’s pizza is just not good to me. The cheese is not messy enough; it doesn’t even stretch when you bite into a piece, the crust is mediocre and tastes like cardboard, and don’t even get me started on the weird “parmesan seasoning” they coat the entire pizza with. If the Update ever wins a class competition where we are promised a “pizza party” and they give us Dominos, I would make a vow to never participate in a class competition again.


BEST FOR LEFTOVERS Ever since Domino’s revamped their pizza making process, their food had been one of my favorites. Their sauce used to taste like ketchup and cheese tasted cheap! Now that they changed their process and ingredients every bite I take into the fluffy slice of heaven that we call pizza I melt inside. But what’s even better about Domino’s pizza, is that it’s better the next day. In the past I have bought a large Domino’s pizza and taken it home to put in the fridge and eat it all the next day. If you haven’t tried Domino’s the next day, I heavily recommend it.

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Helena Nitschky and John Rettig

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