By Tom Wheadon
managing feature

Right now, there are thousands of married homosexual couples across America. And yet, for some odd reason, the sun is still shining, good straight Americans aren’t spontaneously finding themselves gay and society hasn’t collapsed.

In fact, nothing has really changed at all. But I still think this great nation, which built itself on the concepts of liberty and the pursuit of happiness, should ensure no more homosexual couples marry. I’m not homophobic or prejudice, I just don’t think that that specific group of individuals are entitled to the same liberties as me and my future wife.

And who’s to say that my personal beliefs and ideas regarding homosexuals shouldn’t be the law for everyone else? It’s my right to impose my morals on others who don’t share them – taking that away obstructs my liberty! And I’m straight, so my liberty matters.

As far as I’m concerned, they lost the right to marry the second they decided to be gay; just like I gained that right the second I decided to be straight. When they made the decision to fall in love with someone of the same gender, they consciously chose a life of being discriminated against. And now they have the nerve to complain about that discrimination? How dare they? Hearing gays go on and on about being mistreated frustrates me – maybe it’s about time we take away their freedom of speech too.

My biggest issue with gay marriage can be summed up in this quote, said by my great grandfather: “where is the line? If you let anyone marry, what’s stopping a man marrying a dog? Or a cardboard cut-out? Or a lump of cheese?” Truly inspirational stuff there. Sure, he was referring to blacks and whites marrying when he said this (it was a different time, don’t worry) but it can be perfectly applied here too.

You see, where is the line? I bet you can’t answer that, ignorant leftists. Sure an animal or inanimate object can’t technically consent to marriage, but it’s essentially the same as two loving homosexuals in a committed relationship entering into a legal union. How you ask? Because I think both of them are wrong.

Also keep in mind Americans have a duty to protect the sanctity of marriage. And in case left wing heathens have forgotten, sanctity is defined as “the state or quality of being holy, sacred, or saintly.” Let’s just forget for a moment that marriage has been around longer than Christianity, or some silly concept called “separation of church and state;” Americans have to protect this sanctity. That’s exactly why divorcing and remarrying is legal.

Another important thing that needs to be brought to peoples’ attention is the definition of marriage. Now, though, definitions differ between cultures, and they are important and need to be preserved (just ask Santorum). Just know that in its basic, universal form, marriage is defined as “a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship.” And by people, I’m sure they mean a man and a woman. It’s implied, right?

The thing that liberals and gays need to understand is the repercussions of what they want. If gays are not allowed to marry, which coincides with my personal beliefs, it prevents millions of currently homosexual Americans from marrying the person they love; no big deal. But if the gays have their way, I will feel uncomfortable, perhaps even angry, when it’s brought up in conversations.

So suck it up gays, and try to respect my opinion while I continue to disrespect you.